Mike Rowe Rocks

Well, today is Martin Luther King Day, and I have the day off from work. Being that there is no good television on weekdays, and due to the limitation of channels in my cable package, there was really only about one choice for me if I wanted to watch any television during my lunch: Discovery Channel. And as luck would have it, Mike Rowe was on the air with his show Dirty Jobs. I've had profound respect for the man already in his quest to experience first-hand the dirty jobs of this world that make civilization possible. With his spirit of adventure, quick wit and sarcasm, manly-man attitude, and his ability to make all people seem interesting, I can't help but get caught up in this irregular style of reality television.

Today Mike Rowe exceeded his already sterling reputation in my eyes as he replayed some of the interactions he's had with creepy crawlies. I was so engaged by his show today, that he's earned a post on my blog. Not that my blog has gained legendary status yet (and I emphasize "yet") ;), but still, it's got to provide some level of honor.

(For those of my friends who are sensitive to disgusting things (i.e. Sharon), you may not want to read any further)

He replayed an episode that he spent with a bat biologist. He was to enter a cave with this biologist where some 40 million bats lived so that the biologist could check for parasites on bats and to make sure there aren't any other threats to their well-being. But before they entered the cave, the biologist explained the health hazards of going into this cave. They are, as listed below:

1. High temperatures that can quickly lead to dehydration
2. High contents of carbon dioxide (which require that they wear gas masks)
3. High contents of ammonia (if their eyes were exposed, they would burn unbearably. If they breathed in the air, they would struggle for air, causing them to pass out).
4. Furthermore, the source of the high ammonia levels is the waste of these flesh-eating beetles that feed off of the enormous levels of bat guano. If they were to pass out, they would quickly be covered by these flesh-eating beetles that would consume them to the bone.

So the bat biologist meets Mike before going into the cave wearing a rubber suit, rubber boots, rubber gloves, and a gas mask to protect him from the elements. For Mike, he brings a gas mask and rubber boots. Mike wittingly quips, "I failed to receive the memo on the proper attire." I started laughing as I saw the biologist and Mike descending into the cave, one man in rubber suit, the other in pants, t-shirt, oversized rubber boots and a gas mask. As they approach the bat living area, they are stepping in a fine, sand-like substance more than ankle deep, which Mike soon discovers is dried bat guano. I never imagined that animal waste could pile so high, and as you'll see, it gets worse. As they walk beneath the swarming bats, Mike comments that it feels like he's getting rained on. As you probably guessed, it's not rain. It's millions of bats flying overhead, pissing and pooping at such a pace that it feels like a steady, light rain. Once again, to make it all the more hilarious and disgusting, Mike has a t-shirt on.

The reason why bats have so much waste is because they fly so much that they basically need to eat their own body weight in insects every night to maintain their active lifestyle. That's 40 million bats eating their body weight in insects every night and then returning to the cave to drop most of it. If they were ever to be too weak to fly, and happened to land on the guano-covered cave floor, they would quickly be consumed by those flesh-eating beetles, which Mike made sure to have the cameraman zoom in on (with a bat skeleton in the midst of the beetles).

So as they are leaving the cave, Mike gets stuck knee deep in bat guano, which the biologist compares to quicksand. Truly, that's about what it was. As Mike lifts one foot out, the other foot sinks deeper in, and before long, both his legs are knee deep in bat guano and he couldn't do a thing about it. Eventually, in order to take the weight off of his legs, Mike has to lay back on top of the bat guano, which is teeming with flesh-eating beetles, and have the biologist help drag his feet out of the guano, at which time he loses one of his boots completely. I really think Mike was starting to panic a bit when he was knee deep, and as he laid back he said half-seriously "This is no way to die!" I laughed of course, but at the same time, earned a whole new level of respect for Mike Rowe's willingness to get his hands (and feet) dirty with the men and women who have the truly challenging jobs of this world.

So if you're ever looking for something unique, informative, and humorous to watch, I give my full recommendation to Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. Come with an open mind and a strong stomach.